You might have asked yourself this before (or are still asking it, because you’re reading this short article appropriate now).

You are watching: Why is my ex so mean and rude to me

Exes can be a confutilizing arena to navigate, especially if they’re being facility to attend to afterthe breakup as soon as you’ve reduced off many call. It can be especially confmaking use of when they’re being mean; things in between the 2 of you are done, so why are they acting this way?

It’s time to speak going approximately in circles in your head, wondering what you did wrong; let’s go right into ten factors why your ex is expect to you.

1) They still have actually feelings for you

A huge factor why your ex is expect to you is that they still have feelings for you.

You might be thinking that that renders zero feeling. But if you think around it, it’s a natural reaction to having feelings for someone you’re not permitted to express feelings in the direction of anymore.

They’re feeling things that they don’t desire to feel, so they take it out on you bereason they think that that’s your fault (particularly if you’re the one that initiated the breakup.

They might be unhappy in a brand-new relationship and also now they want you ago.

They might likewise be angry bereason they still want to make it occupational and also you don’t. In that case, you’re not providing them what they want, so they’re meant to feel some type of resentment about that.

If anything, they can be mad at you bereason feeling that a lot passion for you (also once it’s the poor, icky kind) still provides them a link to you(aacquire, also if it’s the bad kind).

2) They desire to get your attention

If they desire you earlier and also you’ve determined that pressing that “delete contact” switch was last, they might be acting out as a method to obtain you to communicate with them aobtain.

They could be thinking that the more they keep themselves in your life, the more you’ll retake into consideration obtaining back right into a relationship through them.


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Maybe they’re trial and error the waters, too — stirring the pot to watch if you’ll take the bait because that might sfinish the message that you still care about them. They desire to see what you’ll door just how you’ll feel if you talk to them aacquire.

Also, they might be missing you — they’re absent the attention you offered them, so they’ll execute anything to gain that attention ago, also if it means being intend to you.

3) They’re in the “anger” part of the steras of grief

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There’s no exact order for how civilization should relocate on from points bereason everyone has actually their very own pace and also methods of acquiring through a breakup.

That being said, the idea of the 5 stperiods of grief has been provided to label the different stages in reextending from somepoint that has actually hurt you; maybe your ex is expect to you because they’re in the “anger” part of the cycle.

The 5 steras are denial, anger, baracquiring, depression, and acceptance.

Although they don’t necessarily need to be experienced in order (you might ping pong and also go in circles between the 5 if that’s what your process looks like), it’s prevalent to suffer at least one at a time. Maybe your ex is just mean because they’re stuck in that circle of breakup-hell.

In a breakup conmessage, they can be angry bereason they’ve realized that they deserve more from a partnership and are currently mad at themselves also — however of course, they’ll be most likely to pin it on you and express that by being suppose.

4) They’re still hurting over the breakup

Your ex could still be mad at you bereason they’re still hurt over shedding you; they’re using their anger to shield themselves from their sadness.

Think of it this way. They lost the person that was meant to love them the the majority of. That hurts, whether they were the dumper or the dumped.

Naturally, shedding that perkid would make them angry and also mean bereason they might be feeling betrayed because of guarantees the two of you can have made to each various other prior to.

They could likewise be made from old trauma or the factor for the breakup.

If you hurt each various other (particularly if you’re the one that hurt them), they can still be holding onto anger from what taken place — explaining why they’re still intend to you even after you’ve broken up.


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5) They’re jealous

If you’re dating someone new, there’s a big opportunity your ex is mean to you bereason they’re jealous.

At one suggest, the two of you probably thought you’d be together forever. Now that you’re mirroring them that it won’t happen anymore, it could be fanning the betrayal flames.

They’ll likewise want to one-up whoever you’re datingto show you that they’re the better alternative, and if that isn’t working, it’s also even more cause for them to be mad at and expect to you.

6) They’re pretending to more than you

This is a see-with tactic for the post-breakup struggle; if they’re expect to you, they can be pretfinishing to be over you.

They’re deflecting any kind of lingering feelings they have actually onto you, the topic of those feelings, that they can’t seem to soptimal reasoning around.

To overcompensate, they now act choose they’re mad— and also they might even be mad at themselves because they understand they’re just pretending to more than it and it could not be functioning.

7) They’re stressed around the breakup

Of course, you can not directly be the factor that they’re suppose to you. It’s feasible that they’re just stressed out around the instance as a whole and also are picking to take it out on you bereason, in their heads, you brought about this anxiety.

This is particularly possible in more severe relationships as soon as the two of you have been entangled in also many things; execute you have actually any kind of joint accounts that you need to close? Any rent payments for your apartment that you now need to number out?

All of these other components could be making them anxious, so if your ex is expect to you, it can be because they’re upcollection around the instance.

8) They’re guilty around the breakup

In psychology, there’s a defense device calledreaction formationwhich happens as soon as you expush the oppowebsite of what you’re feeling bereason you want to cover up what you’re actuallyfeeling.

In this case, if they’re guilty around the breakup, they can be trying to pick a fight through you bereason they want to push ameans their guilt.

Maybe they were the ones who cheated, or they regretted just how they automatically asked you to move out after the breakup. If tbelow are feelings of guilt that they can’t get rid of, they might be expect to you to cover it up.


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9) They feel like you’re not gaining the message

If you’ve been trying to get them to come back to you, they could be suppose on function to shake you off. This can be their method of making it clear that they reallydon’t want to offer your partnership another swarm.

They might be extra-mean to break your denial bubble if you still haven’t embraced that the connection has actually finished.

If you’re still chasing after them bereason you still desire them ago, they can feel like you’reholding them backfrom being happy and also resent that. This is most likely a frustrating case for them, so it’d define why they’re being mean.

10) They don’t desire to hurt you

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Now it reallydoesn’t make feeling at initially, right?

It actually does as soon as you think about it, bereason possibly they’re being suppose and trying to pick a fight so that they’renot the ones that hurt you; now, the narrative is that you hurt each various other.

If they want to keep their hands clean when it concerns the hurt they’ve brought about, they might desire to level the scales by goading you right into hurting them ago so that to them, it doesn’t feel prefer they hurt you.

If they pick a fight and you fight earlier, they can think about themselves to be a victim as well.

Now what?

Tright here are 2 methods this can go, depending on what you desire to execute following.

Do you want to gain ago along with them or execute you desire to end things as soon as and also for all?

If you desire to gain back together, display them that you’ve enhanced and have actually become a far better person now. Maybe they’re mean to you bereason they want you to think it’s over and also they desire it to more than because they damaged up via you for a factor.

But if you’ve readjusted for the much better considering that then and also you desire them to retake into consideration getting back with you, display them what they’re missing and save your fingers crossed.

If you want to break it off for excellent,prevent taking the bait. Don’t fight fire with fire.


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Decide that you’re done and also give each other the spaceyou have to cool off any type of unrefixed bad feelings. Maybe this can also lead to you ceasing call altogether; if that’s something you want, store a safe distance from the fire and be ready with an extinguisher to put it out.

Like we said, exes are complex — yet they don’t need to be. Pay attention to their habits and ultimately, you’ll number out once and for all why they’re being suppose to you.


The actual factor why men pull away

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