l> Question: Why did the chicken cross the road
Why did the chicken cross the road? Doug Zongker"s chicken paper: VideoComputer Chickens A Chicken Joke Subgoals welcome. Thanks to Flori Bunea, Ginger Hellguy, Roberto Rivera, Herman Rubin, Maggi Vanos and also Doug Zongker.
RONALD FISHER: Why does it have to be a chicken? Why not a frog, turvital, or pig? We randomly attempt to a have chicken, frog, turvital and pig cross the road 10 times each. We then compare the suppose variety of times each slrfc.orgmal crossed the road to identify if there"s a distinction in suggests. SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road bereason, gosh-darn it, he"s a maverick! BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road bereason it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to interact in cooperation and dialogue via all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little bit chicken to cross the road. This suffer renders me uniquely qualified to encertain ideal from Day One that eexceptionally chicken in this country gets the possibility it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn"t about me. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don"t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We simply want to recognize if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either versus us, or for us. Tbelow is no middle ground below. DICK CHENEY: Where"s my gun? COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the display screen, you deserve to plainly view the satellite photo of the chicken crossing the road. BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road via that chicken. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am currently versus it! It was the wrong road to cross, and also I was misled about the chicken"s intentions. I am not for it now, and will certainly remajor against it. DR. PHIL: The problem we have actually right here is that this chicken won"t realize that he should initially address the trouble on this side of the road prior to it goes after the trouble on the various other side of the road. What we should perform is aid him realize exactly how stupid he"s acting by not taking on his present troubles before adding brand-new problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand also that the chicken is having actually problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so negative. So instead of having actually the chicken learn from his mistakes and also take falls, which is a component of life, I"m going to offer this chicken a NEW CAR so that he deserve to just drive throughout the road and not live his life choose the remainder of the chickens. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road bereason he"s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and also the method he walks. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which means that chicken was going. I had actually a standing order at the Farmer"s Market to offer my eggs when the price dropped to a particular level. No bit bird offered me any type of insider indevelopment. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roadways together, in tranquility. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and also balance your checkbook. Web Explorer is an integral component of eChicken2010. This new platform is much even more secure and also will never before reboot. AUGUST MOBIUS: To acquire to the exact same side. ISAAC NEWTON: Chickens at remainder tend to stay at remainder. Chickens in activity tfinish to cross the road. WERNER HEISENBERG: We are not certain which side of the road the chicken was on, yet it was moving very rapid. DARTH VADER: Due to the fact that it could not resist the power of the Dark Side. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why does not anyone ever before think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking everywhere the place anyway?" AL GORE: I will certainly fight for the chickens and I will not disapsuggest them. Did I mention that I created roads? KEN STARR: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the USA of America in an effort to distract legislation enforcement officials and also the Amerideserve to public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest possible elected official has actually been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is simply an additional pawn in the president"s recurring and also intricate system to obstruct justice and threaten the dominance of law. For that reason, my staff intends to market the chicken unconditional immunity offered he coopeprices fully via our investigation. Additionally, the chicken will certainly not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our examination and any kind of Congressional follow-up investigations have actually been completed. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a task from a decent, hardfunctioning Amerideserve to. DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it through a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, yet why it crossed, I"ve not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a people where all chickens will be free to cross roadways without having their motives referred to as right into question. GRANDPA: In my day, we didn"t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was excellent sufficient for us. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and also we were rather justified in dropping 50 loads of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: What chicken? CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER: You observed it cross the road with your very own eyes. How many type of more chickens need to cross prior to you believe it? MACHIAVELLI: The suggest is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever before motive tright here was. FREUD: The fact that you are at all involved that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roadways throughout history. THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and also He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and also tbelow was a lot rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don"t understand any kind of chickens. I have never before known any kind of chickens. JANOS von NEUMANN: The chicken is dispersed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on your side. BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn"t that interesting? In a couple of moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of exactly how it experienced a severe instance of molting, and also went on to attain its life lengthy dream of crossing the road. ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been enabled to have actually access to the other side of the road. DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you deserve to clearly check out the satellite picture of the chicken crossing the road. ANDRE AMPERE: To save up with current events. ROBERT BOYLE: She had been under also much push at house. JAMES WATT: It assumed it would certainly be an excellent method to let off steam. THOMAS EDISON: She assumed it would certainly be an illuminating endure. JEAN FOUCALT: It didn"t. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross. KARL GAUSS: Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the other side. GUSATV HERTZ: Lately, its been crossing through greater frequency. GEORG OHM: Tbelow was more resistance on this side of the road. ERWIN SCHRODINGER: Because the wording of the question indicates the lack of an observer (else the fowl"s incentive can quickly be deduced), it is noticeable that the chicken concurrently did and did not cross the road.


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In the challenge of this, any kind of speculation regarding the bird"s objective have to be viewed as mere sophistry - and also as such is past the bounds of this conversation.