We begin right away via the first team date: wrestling. Every season, The Bachelor organizes an task that exploits the whole "girl fight" narrative with literal girl fights. It's super gross—and the fetishized wrestling costumes absolutely don't help—but then aobtain, right here I am watching this present so I can't obtain also far up on my feminist high equine. On the bright side, perhaps this will certainly encourage Bachelor fans to go check out GLOW on Netflix. It's wonderful.
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What's not wonderful, though, is the acronym they use for the show: G.L.O.B., which stands for Gorgeous Ladies of Bachelor. Get outta below with that, Chris Harriboy.
"I desire to make an excellent impression on Arie, but I'm gaining my ass beattoday." - To be hocolony, I'm not completely certain that shelp this.
Arie comes out masked as the kissing bandit to introduce two original G.L.O.W. women: Ursula, that wrestled as 'The Farmer's Daughter,' and Angelina, that was well-known as 'Little Egypt.' They're below to teach the woguys some moves, and also Bekah M. is below for it. Lauren B., however, can't speak nervous laughing. "The whole acting part, that's wbelow my struggle is," she claims. Um, I don't recognize around that. You've done an excellent job pretfinishing to be into Arie so much.
Ursula and Angelina are brutal via the woguys. At one point, Angelina goes off on Bibiana and provides fun of the spelling of her name which is very rude and also problematic, also if it's all simply an act. Angelina assaults Tia, also. When Angelina threatens to beat her up, Tia claims, "I would certainly let you." LOL. Upset, Tia leaves the ring to go cry in a corner via Bibiana, wbelow they bond over their mutual hatred of Angelina and women's wrestling.
"I gain you're trying to be hard, but choose, you're a f-cking oldwrestler." - Bibiana
Tia does not appreciate the "negative vibes" Angelina and also Ursula have actually carried to the group date. As she says, "I don't want to sit on the sidelines, but I additionally don't want to look that rude ass woman in the face." She doesn't get a lot of a choice, though, as it's time to produce their alter egos and also perform in front of a live audience.
And there's a surpincrease twist: Kenny is here to wrestle Arie!!!! Kenny, if you win execute you obtain to come in and also take Arie's place this season? Please, please, please say it's so. Kenny wastes no team beating Arie up, making this officially my favorite scene of the seachild. But it's a bittersweet moment, because it renders me miss Kenny and also what could have actually been. Sadly, he need to go so the women deserve to wrestle and my heart breaks.
First up is Bekah as a sex kitten versus Maquel as a lunch lady. Maquel, that did you piss off? That costume is stormy stuff. The following enhance is Krystal as a cougar vs. Jacqueline as, I think, a beauty queen? Krystal goes full-on right into this bereason she's covertly a scary perchild.
"I had actually so a lot fun." - Krystal around nearly murdering a woguy.
The enhance in between Marikh and also Lauren B. gets...kinda sexual. I hope this was not producer-coerced and fairly the spark of somepoint brand-new. They clearly have more chemistry with each various other than either execute with Arie. They need to run amethod together, IMO.
The last complement is Tia as a southern bell against Bibiana as Bridezilla. They have actually fun through it, prompting Tia to declare that she "surprisingly liked" wrestling after all.
At the after party, Krystal automatically steals Arie ameans utilizing her sexy baby voice. Annoyed, Bibiana feels she have to voice her pertains to around Krystal via Arie, which is the WORST concept. Seriously, once in the background of Bachelor Nation has that ever operated out for a contestant? Rule number one: Never before, ever before, ever tattle tale or you will be the one to go home.
Once she's back with the team, Krystal asks the others if they've talked to Arie and she's met via finish silence. But Krystal appears unpertained to around their mindset because she's 100% certain she and also Arie have the strongest relationship—based on pretty much no evidence, yet I still admire her confidence.
Tia and Arie discuss why she was upcollection in the time of the date and also he confesses he was turned on by how helpless she was and also that he might conserve her. Man, carry out they love conventional gender duties on The Bachelor. Still, Tia's into it, so you carry out you.
Later, Bekah snuggles into Arie while wearing a very cute oversized jean jacket. They make out, and also he does many face poignant and also oh wow this is easily escalating bereason now she is straddling and grinding him. So, not surprisingly, the date increased goes to Bekah. Naturally, Krystal is very confused around this advance. She takes this to expect she should "action up her game," so everyone watch the hell out.
The next day, for their solo day, Lauren S. heads to Napa through Arie. The concept of spfinishing hrs alone via Arie is unappealing to me, but at least there's wine.
"This is an extremely Lauren S. date." - Lauren S.
On the day, they toast grapes, sip wine, and also talk about exactly how much they love going to bed early on. This launches a very lengthy, exceptionally boring conversation around sleeping and you know what's hard to continue to be awake in the time of to recap? A long, boring conversation about sleeping. However, Lauren S. decides this suggests they're compatible....bereason they both like going to a winery and also sleeping. Uh, yeah, everyone likes those points.
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Over dinner, Lauren S. talks non-stop. She even knows she's messing up and yet still can't sheight. Girl, SHHHHHH. It's so negative that Arie tells Lauren S. he can't provide her the increased. He doesn't want to waste her time bereason he's not feeling it—and also this could be the first time I'm actually on Arie's side. That day was super awkward. I'm simply sad Lauren S. hasn't had even more time to construct up her social media fanbase for the unavoidable #sponcon career she launches after this. After she leaves, Aries lis10s to a string quartet by himself and also walks around holding the climbed dramatically. Back at the mansion, a male comes in for the Dramatic Suitsituation Exit. Krystal gives a sinister grin however then states this bullshit line: "She's really such a beautiful spirit." She also uses this opportunity to offer the womales her "advice" around just how to win over Arie. Naturally, this does not go over well.
"Speak being so condescending because, prefer, you met his dog." -Caroline
The next day, the women partake in another costumed competition group date. But this one is method, means better because they obtain to play via puppies that deserve to do tricks! Many of the woguys have actually the supposed reactivity to cute puppies (excitement), with one exception: Annaliese, the woguy who had that traumatic bumper car endure, states she additionally had a "traumatic experience" via a dog (that was literally called Sunshine) as a child. At the same time, Tia and also Bibiana take a moment to pray because "Jesus requirements to take the wheel."
"Dear God, say thanks to you for this beautiful day. Thank you for my friendTia. And let one of those girls get bitten by a puppy." - Bibiana
The competition percent of the day does not go smoothly. Everything is cringe-worthy: The dogs are not behaving and are pooping all over. A random son literally wanders up onto the phase mid-performance. Fred Willard, who is tright here to guest judge, renders horrible "doggy style" jokes. Children in the audience scream and cry. It's all exceptionally bizarre. Honestly, these dogs deserve better. And yet, at the after party, Chelsea tells Arie the date was "amazing" and also "symbolic of my very own life." (What does that also mean?)