On the present now, Turning Kids Into Grown-ups - principles about the options paleas make for their kids and exactly how those options can ultimately affect them. So we"re going to finish the present this day with a poem by Sarah Kay about what it would be like to raise a son in a people of happiness, heartache and also whatever in between. Here"s Sarah Kay analysis her poem "If I Should Have A Daughter" from the TED phase.

You are watching: Ted talk if i should have a daughter

(SOUNDBITE OF TED TALK)

SARAH KAY: If I have to have actually a daughter, instead of Mom, she"s going to speak to me suggest B because that means she knows that no issue what happens, at least she deserve to always discover her way to me. And I"m going to paint the solar units on the backs of her hands so she hregarding learn the entire world before she have the right to say, oh, I understand that choose the back of my hand. And she"s going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to obtain back up just so it deserve to kick you in the stomach. But gaining the wind knocked out of you is the just means to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. Tbelow is hurt below that cannot be solved by Band-Aids or poeattempt.

So the initially time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn"t coming, I"ll make sure she knows she doesn"t have to wear the cape all by herself bereason no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will certainly always be as well little to capture all the pain you want to heal. Believe me. I"ve tried. And baby, I"ll tell her, don"t keep your nose up in the air choose that. I understand that trick. I"ve done it a million times. You"re simply smelling for smoke so you deserve to follow the trail earlier to a burning home so you have the right to uncover the boy who lost every little thing in the fire to see if you have the right to conserve him, or else uncover the boy that lit the fire in the first location to view if you have the right to readjust him.

But I understand she will certainly anymethod, so rather, I"ll always save an added supply of cacao and also rain boots adjacent bereason there is no heartbreak that chocolate can"t settle. OK, there"s a couple of heartbreaks that cacao can"t deal with, however that"s what the rain boots are for bereason rain will wash amethod whatever if you let it. I want her to look at the people via the underside of a glass-bottom watercraft, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinsuggest of a human mind bereason that"s the method my mom taught me that tright here will be days choose this.

(Singing) There"ll be days prefer this, my mama shelp - once you open your hands to catch and also wind up with just blisters and bruises, once you step out of the phone booth and attempt to fly and the exceptionally civilization you desire to save are the ones standing on your cape, as soon as your boots will fill through rain, and you"ll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the extremely days you have actually all the even more reason to say, say thanks to you, because there"s nothing even more beautiful than the means the ocean refoffers to soptimal kissing the coast no matter just how many type of times it"s sent out away.

You will certainly put the wind in the win some, lose some. You will certainly put the star in founding over and also over. And no issue how many type of land also mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life. And yes, on a scale from 1 to overtrusting, I am pretty damn naive. But I desire her to understand that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so quickly, however do not be afrhelp to stick your tongue out and also taste it. Baby, I"ll tell her, remember your mama is a worrier, and your papa is a warrior. And you are the girl through tiny hands and significant eyes who never stops asking for more.

Remember that excellent points come in threes, and so carry out negative things. And constantly apologize when you"ve done something wrong, yet don"t you ever before apologize for the means your eyes refusage to sheight shining. Your voice is tiny, but don"t ever before speak singing. And when they ultimately hand you heartache, once they slip battle and hatred under your door and also offer you handouts on street corners of cynicism and also defeat, you tell them that they really ought to fulfill your mommy.

(APPLAUSE)

KAY: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

RAZ: Sarah Kay - she"s a poet and also founder and also co-director of Project VOICE. It"s a group that runs poetry workshops in institutions and also areas roughly the civilization. You deserve to check out every one of her talks at ted.com.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "GLORY")

JAY-Z: (Rapping) The a lot of remarkable feeling I feel - words can"t describe what I"m feeling, for actual. Baby, I paint the skies blue. My biggest development was you, you.

RAZ: Hey, thanks for listening to our present, Turning Kids Into Grown-ups. This week, if you want to find out more about who was on it, go to ted.slrfc.org. To check out hundreds more TED Talks, check out ted.com or the TED app. Our production staff at slrfc.org includes Jeff Rogers, Sanaz Meshkinpour, Jinae West, Neva Grant, Rund Abdelfatah, Casey Herguy and also Rachel Faulkner, with assist from Daniel Shukin. Our intern is Diba Mohtasham. Our partners at TED are Chris Anderboy, Colin Helms, Anna Phelan and Janet Lee. I"m Guy Raz, and also you"ve been listening to ideas worth spreading ideal here on the TED Radio Hour from slrfc.org.

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