I didn’t compose an enattempt last week because I couldn’t really think of a lot to say. Nopoint prodiscovered or new (not that my entries are typically profound.) So I decided to “think on it”.

You are watching: Not if i have anything to say about it

This week, I don’t essential have actually anypoint new (again), however I have actually been reasoning about those situations as soon as you don’t have a lot to say — and also what you need to carry out.

First, some context for those of you who don’t understand me well. Historically, I have been rather outgoing, social, and rarely, if ever, at a loss for words. In the previous (and still in some situations) I have been just one of those civilization that willingly fills the void if there is any dead air room. Era, life experience (including times of making a fool of myself by talking also much) and also the amount of social interaction in my work-related — all have actually caused me to slow down a little bit and not be so socially hyper.

In fact, an adult frifinish of mine gave me some advice as soon as I went away to college. He told me, “Paul, you are the sort of perkid that will jump in to eexceptionally task available, get over-affiliated, and also burn yourself out — bereason you want world to like you. What you must do is sit earlier for the initially semester, shut up, and also simply watch what is going on. Then you can watch what you desire to gain affiliated in and make some good choices.” Believe it or not, I attempted to follow his advice. And it was an interesting experience for me. Rather than be Mr. Outgoing, I actually took on the function of “the quiet guy” in brand-new situations. And I watched other world make fools of themselves — and witnessed what I need to have actually looked prefer to others.

Because then, I now “pick and choose” — occasionally I am my fun-loving, outgoing self, while various other times I tfinish to be the “sit back and observe” man. I actually reap the ability to choose which function I will certainly take.

Here are some monitorings I have made, and also some lessons learned.

If you are not certain what to say, wait — leave some silence for others to soptimal. Many human being that are even more introverted need more “space” in which to communicate in conversation. They need some time to procedure what they have heard, gather their thoughts, formulate an answer, and also then gather the courage to share their thoughts. Those of us who are motor-mouths go at such a fast pace in conversations (specifically in little groups), that many type of quieter human being don’t say a lot because there is not sufficient room for them in the conversation to enter in.Ask questions of others. The fact is: a lot of world choose to share about themselves — what they have actually been doing, what they are reasoning about, experiences they have had. And all they require is someone to present some interest and also ask them “What’s been going on?” and also they are prepared to share. I actually have actually found I obtain deeper and even more meaningful responses once I ask different concerns, like: “What is new in your life?” “What have actually you been discovering lately?” “What’s going on that I don’t understand about?” These seem to bypass the conventional small-talk responses (“Nopoint.” “Not a lot.” “I don’t know. What around you?”)Sometimes “I don’t know what to say” is the many appropriate thing to say. There are tough or awkward cases that aclimb occasionally, wright here it is really tough to understand exactly how to respond. Surpclimbing news or decisions made, recent major medical diagnoses or individual tragedies, or simply awkward statements by others — all can put us in a position of wanting to say something however not to say somepoint that can offfinish or seem incorrect. I have discovered if I say “I don’t understand what to say” they will certainly continue on, provide more information, and allow me time to figure out what an proper response is.

See more: 10 Interesting Books Similar To Lord Of The Flies By William Golding

If you don’t have anypoint to say, and also you find yourself talking — speak. Okay. Sounds good.

Have an excellent week!