Those two words, in all caps, with that punctuation, encapsulate every little thing I feel around this week’s Downton Abbey episode. If there were ever such a point as a two-word recap/review, this would certainly be the time for it. However before, given that that is not feasible bereason (a) various other events in the episode did take place (sorta) and also (b) I would certainly obtain a stern talking to by my editor if I turned in a 2-word testimonial, review below for the rest. But if you as well are still shell shocked and grieving over the latest turn of events, if you also are not sure whether you deserve to go on with the series, I say break open up a pint of chocolate fudge whip and also weep while reading below…trust me, it will assist. It will. I think.

You are watching: Downton abbey season 3 episode 4

At the start of the episode, everyone at Downton is excited because it seems that Lady Sybil’s baby bulge is cshed to popping out and turning from a bulge right into a real, live baby. Due to the fact that Lord Grantham doesn’t trust Dr. Clarkchild (who was wrong about Matthew’s paralysis and couldn’t conserve Lavinia), he brings in an esteemed London culture doctor, a Sir Philip Tapmarket. He’s a knight! And a doctor! As quickly as I realized this, I went starry eyed, picturing a handsome, brave Sir Philip, riding in on a white horse, swinging Excalibur, rescuing patients from Death’s babsence grip via chivalry and also excellent teeth! Then Sir Philip Tapsell reflects up and proves to be yet an additional old, stuffy aristocrat and also it’s clear Lord Grantham likes Tapsell not so much for his specialization, but for the reality he oozes his membership in the “old boy’s club” with every high culture reference he makes at the dinner table. And Tapmarket provides a lot of them.

Cora isn’t all that comfortable through Tapsell because (a) she’s been with childbirth and knows that you have to have a physician that you’re acquainted through and also deserve to trust, (b) she’s Amerideserve to and not as impressed with snooty city doctors and (c) she has actually sense. She insists Robert store Dr. Clarkkid on, if only as a formality. He agrees, simply to store the peace. Dr. Clarkson reflects up, all uncomfortable and also nation doctor-ish, cringing as Tapoffer drones on. It’s so, sooo awkward.


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At the same time, Sybil has actually been confined to her room, because reportedly impending childbirth suggests no one need to see you. She and Branchild have a brief discussion about where they must raise the baby. He wants to move to his brother’s garage in Liverpool. She wants to remajor at Downton. Then she gets all weird and starts talking around stars (stars? stars?) in the bedroom. Did you hear that? Did you capture it? It’s the initially, faint sound of the bell of doom ringing….


In other places wright here excellent intentions go awry, Mrs. Crawley hires Ethel as a kitchen mhelp in an effort to conserve the latter from a life on the highways. Mrs. Bird, Mrs. Crawlye’s cook, isn’t happy about working via a former lady of the night. She quits, especially after Mrs. Crawley assures her that ”no one would mistake her as a prostitute” (finest compliment smackdown ever). Ethel takes over the cooking and also makes a mess out of it. Mrs. Crawley grins and bears it, and also Ethel assures to acquire much better. Yeah. And pigs will fly out of the blood saintake you simply shed, girlie. 

Downstairs at Downton, Jimmy is advocated to the crucial duty of winding the clocks. He grins, beams,and sparkles through wavy blond haired handsomeness and also then realizes he has no principle just how to wind anypoint, let alone a clock. Suddenly, poof! At his side, is a hunched babsence crinoline clad evil one, whispering a devious plot….oh wait. It’s simply Mrs. O’Brien, that tells Jimmy to ask Thomas for aid. Thomas does aid, and mirrors Jimmy exactly how the wind the clock, all the while plainly wanting to SHOW Jimmy just how to…wind his clock (heh heh heh). Jimmy picks up on the not so subtle sexual vibes and looks distinctly uncomfortable. Uh-oh. And I was so sure Jimmy’s pendulum swung both methods (yes, I will certainly proceed with the clock euphemisms).

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In an effort to display everyone (consisting of himself, I suspect, I expect c’mon—Thomas may be a poor, mad boy however well, that’s hot) that he is a virile instance of manhood, Jimmy quickly asserts his heterosexuality by madly flirting with the new kitchen mhelp, Ivy. Albert pouts. Daisy provides death glares to everyone. Another worn down love triangle is put up, courtesy of Mr. Fellowes who simply can’t seem to let people fall in love and also be happy. Well. I mean it’s more of a love square than a triangle, if you count Thomas. And everyone knows a square is also less conducive than a triangle to love. I intend, think of all those right angles… 


In the people of undying, faithful and requited love, Anna and Bates are able to meet aget. He tells her he’s found a clue! (woo-hoo, way to make all Anna’s work seem semi-useless). He tells her she missed essential information in her intercheck out with Vera’s neighbor/friend: there was PATSRY SHELL under Vera’s fingers prior to she passed away. Thus, Vera baked and ate the poisoned pie herself, committing suicide and also framing Bates in one fell swoop! Anna rejoices and also wishes she were a much better detective (ok, she doesn’t, however if I were her, I’d be pissed at absent that). Bates and also Anna happily begin planning his release. Bates’s guard and cellmate notification this joy and also start planning to mess via them. Arrrgrrgrhgrh. If Bates spends the rest of the seaboy stuck behind bars, I will certainly throw my own kidney pie at my tv set and then create to PBS about their obvious endorsement of innocent human being being sent to priboy.

But all this drama is overshadowed (if you deserve to believe that) by the unfolding baby mess that is going on in Sybil’s belly. Since she is raving madly and has actually swollen ankles, Dr. Clarkkid insists she has a dangerous pregnancy problem called eclampsia which have the right to cause toxemia and death! Cora and everyone else sees the sense in this since Sybil is plainly off the rails and back Dr. Clarkkid in wanting to take Sybil to the hospital for a C-area. Sir Tapmarket pish poshes and also insists all is well. Lord Grantham is impressed by the means Sir Tapoffer pish poshes and insists Dr. Clarkboy is simply being an unexperienced, jealous loony and also refsupplies to have Sybil relocated. Everyone else looks at him like he’s crazy. He perseveres via a stiff top lip and also Sir Tapmarket smirks. Ugh. Tapoffer. You have actually single handedly ruined my fantasy around healer knights in shining armor.

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It briefly looks choose Tapoffer is ideal once Sybil is yielded of a little, but healthy and balanced baby girl. She appears to come earlier to herself and also then weakly makes her mom promise, no, PROMISE to look after Branson and also help him uncover his means and NOT let him occupational in a garage aacquire. Cora, puzzled but happy all danger is previous, assures her she will certainly. Everyone goes to bed, content.


Then everyone wakes up not so content as Branson runs out screaming for help. Everyone rushes ago to Sybil’s side—she’s seizing! She can’t breathe! What’s going on???!!!! Sir Tapsell, looking as if a plebian just gave him a swift kick to the nuts, mutely nods as Dr. Clarkchild gravely and also sadly claims this is what he feared: toxemia. And no, no one have the right to help. Everyone looks on in horror and watches SYBIL. DIE.


I should take a minute below.

Ok.

Let’s go on.

No one have the right to think that Sybil is dead, least of all Lord Grantham who backed Sir Tapsell’s erroneous diagnosis. People begin crying, some of them in Downton Abbey, some of them in New York City on a couch, clutching their puppies for comfort. Everyone type of forgets around the baby and then Mary remembers and also finds a wet nurse for her. Cora sits via Sybil’s body all night and also assures dead Sybil she’ll look after Branson. Robert comes in, trying to find his wife for comfort. Said wife turns on him in pissed off grief and also blames him for his daughter’s death. Robert slinks out, and also Cora proceeds her vigil.

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Dvery own with Carchild and company, more crying ensues at the news of Sybil’s death. Thomas, in among his flashes of mankind, totally breaks down. It seems he and Sybil grew cshed throughout the war. Oh Thomas. If only you had Jimmy to comfort you with his gold hair and also sparkling blue eyes. Unfortunately, you get Anna, who while likewise blond, is so not your type, being of the female persuasion. 


Anna and Bates have another factor to be upset, because it seems that the evil guard and also his evil cellmate have actually somejust how scared and bribed Vera’s neighbor right into silence. WILL YOU GIVE US NO COMFORT JULIAN FELLOWES, IN THIS TIME OF GRIEF???

The next day dawns and also Sybil’s body is taken away as the house goes into mourning. Unfortunately, Matthew does not think this an inproper time to talk to Mr. Murray about particular estate matters (i.e. Lord Grantham sucks at running his properties). More unfortunately, Mary catches him at it and yells at him. Seriously. No one in this present can ever have actually a great relationship. 

But wait? Can it be? Do I hear the stirrings of…happiness? Branchild holds his baby and looks down at her with love. Will all be healed by this brand-new scion of Downton? Babies bring everyone together, right?

Yeah. And the pigs that flew out of Ethel’s blood saconsumption will compose and also star in a hit Broadmethod show that entirely eclipses the Publication of Mormon as the most expensive thing to view du jour.