Who"s Your Daddy is a cheap virtual game for two players. One player is a daddy, the various other is a baby. Daddy"s task is to safeguard the baby from harm for a few minutes. Baby"s project is to crawl approximately and also kill itself as easily as feasible. Just to repeat that: the baby wins by dying.

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The game takes location in a two-storey residence via several rooms (kitchen, bath, living room, bedroom) and players switch duties after each round. James and also Chris L. played several rounds together. The rest of this will certainly be their thoughts and also gifs, many type of of which—fair warning—feature a low polygon baby dying horribly.

It"s effectively a super dark spin on the battle as a parent to store an infant safe from the endless risks that arise from otherwise harmmuch less residential settings, while playing as the baby is an exaggerated riff on the curiosity of insophisticated. It"s exceptionally silly, though certainly bound to make some uncomfortable, as we"ve warned. Admittedly, we laughed rather a little bit.

Handsome Baby

Chris L: Can I start by saying the baby is actually pretty terrifying, slithering around favor some kinda nightmare monster? It have the right to briefly sprint, too, and also as soon as gross points relocate easily it someexactly how makes them grosser. It is not a creature you instinctively want to save. Which is possibly an excellent thing, bereason you"re going to watch it die horribly over and also over again.

James D: The baby’s bulging eyes and broken neck definitely help dehumanize it, but I also feel less humale after playing an hour or so.

Chris L: Dad is no picnic, either. When he crouches his legs just retract up right into his body. Maybe the twist is that this game takes place in Hell or on an alien world.

Sink Battle

Chris L: As an eagle-eyed dad, I couldn"t assist but alert Baby James had leapt into the bathroom sink, turned on the faucet, and also begun drowning himself. After some fumbling, I regulated to rotate the faucet off, yet Baby James had actually other principles. Hence began a sink battle. A fight taking place in a sink.

James D: This baby has actually hops. Turns out a trash bin was basic access to the sink, and also with dad transsolved on his very own lifemuch less gaze in the mirror, I proceeded to make myself lifemuch less via tap water. I’m not really sure what was going on on Dad Chris’s finish, but I nearly drowned myself before the click fight started. It was actually a pretty intense moment. I had actually Tom Marks watching over my shoulder, cheering on infanticide while I watched the green circle (my life bar) deplete.

Chris L: I just couldn"t click the tap correctly. I was also tense and I retained lacking. When you quickly turned it on and then off, causing me trying to turn it off however then turning it on... it was a clever and also tenacious move by a baby through a desperate death wish.

James D: While the click battle over turning the sink on and also off was reasonably chaotic, it was actually pretty fun trying to anticipate Dad Chris’s clicks. Trading clicks is the initially instinct, however preventing suddenly in the pattern have the right to actually trick the various other player right into clicking aget, turning the faucet versus their favor. My tiny baby hands and also mind couldn’t handle the (water) push, so Dad Chris took this one. Tom Marks was extremely disappointed that the baby didn’t die.

Lost Baby

Chris L: While it"s a little bit grim to check out a baby execute itself, it"s additionally type of funny? Kind of? I dunno. Possibly bereason the game"s graphics and animations are entirely unconvincing, it"s sort of not a big deal watching a baby die. The horror largely comes from feeling that you should feel more horrified. I did discover a number of moments of genuine terror, though, on the occasions I completely and utterly lost sight of Baby James. I"d looked amethod for a few moments and unexpectedly realized I had no principle wright here he was. He can be inches from his fatality and I couldn"t find him! It was a genuinely awful, panicky feeling, somejust how worse than watching him climb into an oven and attempt to prepare himself. Which he practically did several times.

James D: Stealth baby is a legitimate strat. Well, virtually. The residence is pretty small at this suggest. Tright here are numerous locked doors that will inevitably be opened up up and filled via even more infant death traps, but appropriate currently it’s difficult to shed the baby for as well long. Still, I managed to hide behind the toy box lengthy enough for Pappy Chris to shed me. I felt pretty empowered watching him panic, and the jerky activities of the simple character models provided his rush between rooms a natural urgency. I tried to make a break for a nearby fork or hammer, but came up empty. Crawling is slow-moving and those daddy lengthy legs didn’t take long to discover me. Here’s to hoping for more methods to hide in the last variation.

Coffee Table

Chris L: Don"t blame Daddy James for this one. We were in a truce: we"d found a vital in the residence and were wandering roughly trying to number out (unsuccessfully) what it unlocked. Anymeans, while James was futilely clicking doors upstairs I uncovered a hammer and wanted to see if I can use it to smash the glass coffee table (I could) and then I tried to check out if I might eat large shards of glass (I could) and also if that would kill me (it did). It was a cheap play on my part. I betrayed James" trust and compelled him to watch me die from glass.

James D: Curiosity killed a entirety bunch of points, transforms out. A excellent percent of our time was invested dashing around the environment as baby and also male, attempting to use items on doors, glass, and each other. (The baby have the right to grab a knife and also slash with appropriate click. Patricide upday coming soon?) Tright here were pills hiding about the setting, which I think let the dad slow-moving the baby’s poison status. There’s that key, which we assumed unlocked doors but might actually lock cabinets. Point is, there’s a lot to experiment through. How well balanced is it? Well, not incredibly, but the majority of of the fun was in the discovery of a new way to die as a baby or hamper baby death as a daddy. With more rooms, items, risks, and counters, the game can attribute as something super comedic and also playful, yet keep a competitive edge. That shelp, if this game gets an esporting activities adhering to, I don’t think I can be a component of this industry anyeven more.

Smouldering Baby

Chris L: Baby deserve to pick up objects like forks and also knives and jam them right into electric sockets for a quick death. Daddy can grab points out of Baby"s hands and also attempt to put them out of reach. I likewise found a box of outlet covers, which can be supplied to nullify that indicates of death, though tright here are what feels choose dozens of outlets in that home. In truth, while I was walking approximately plugging up outallows all I could think was "I wish my home had actually this many kind of outlets." My home has actually choose four outallows. I"d happily let a baby die if it intended I had even more places to plug stuff in.

James D: Tright here are a ton of outallows. There are likewise a ton of forks on the floor. Pre-smouldering baby, it’s a fun juggling mechanic. As Daddy, you’re keeping track of the baby’s whereabouts, scanning the floor for knives and also forks, and also if the baby picks one up and also dash to the nearest outlet, it’s an intense race to snatch the utensil from the infant’s surprisingly deft hands before, well. Yeah. ‘Winning.’

Chris L.: The problem via snatching a weapon from Baby is that you need to discover somelocation to put it, and dropping it on a high shelf or table is a pretty clumsy affair. There"s one shelf in the clocollection that baby can"t reach so it gets stacked through bottles of bleach and also miscellaneous tools as the game goes on. It"s also a little alarming to look up at a looming Daddy and check out him holding a knife. Then you remember that as a Baby it"s your job—nay, duty—to kill yourself. Daddy will not stab you.

Trash Dimension

Chris L: James The Baby somejust how dove right into a trash deserve to and I heard faint crunching sounds emanating from within. He was eating trash. I don"t have actually a baby in genuine life yet I perform have actually a dog and also so seeing somepoint I love eat dangerous garbage isn"t really a brand-new sight for me.

James D: Eating trash is pretty natural to me, so I just hopped into the garbage out of habit. What ensued from my perspective was pretty psychedelic. Once poisoned, the baby’s vision goes haywire, warping in and out of color negatives. In the trash, I skilled the game’s wonky collision and also physics while dying, and began to panic. I could check out the ceiling, glimpses of Pappy Chris, and suddenly didn’t want to eat anyeven more trash or be in that stinky can. As artistically minimal as Who’s Your Daddy appears, it’s complete of intense surges of emotion. Probably a result of the 1997 graphics versus the sick conmessage. Phew.

Chris L: What was even more disturbing for you, being a dying baby, or watching a baby die while being a dad?

James D: I think being the dad was more intense, yet I just felt really disturbed after the reality, typically when the baby won. The cam does a slow-moving rotation approximately the infant’s body, and also even though it’s pretty cartoony, once the action settles and also you begin to realize your laughing out loud in an office of specialists at a baby that just ate ten batteries, it’s difficult not to feel, well, off.

Chris L: Yeah. And we both suddenly realized we"d had actually sufficient baby death at the specific exact same time. Watching the camera spin approximately a dead baby and it was favor, "Are you done? I think I"m done."

Batteries are OP

Chris L: We had actually to come to an agreement about the batteries under the sink. Tright here are a bunch of them that Baby can quickly eat and die from, and also Daddy (as much as I deserve to tell) have the right to only pick them up one at a time. We decided that batteries were way OP "cuz Baby can eat them and quickly win eexceptionally time. Batteries require a nerf if this is gonna be an esport.

James D: The developers of this game have to take a lengthy hard look in the mirror and also think around just how OP batteries actually are. It’s a shame, really, to check out such obvious competitive imbalance in a videogame in 2016. For crying out loud.


Chris L: Dad can put toys in a toy chest, and also upon effective completion of this job is granted Batman-choose detective vision, which enables him to watch objects with wall surfaces and also doors. Thing is, putting the playthings ameans provides Baby ample time to kill himself, so I do not check out this as a winning strategy. Your ideal move is to hover around Baby at all times and grab whatever he picks up.

James D: Yeah, I’m into the concept, but the task takes also long without a lot payoff. Maybe make it involve fewer toys so you deserve to attain it via a little bit of threat, yet not so much that the baby drinks all the bleach instantly. Maybe offer the dad a chore for eextremely room, too. In the kitchen, make dinner to obtain a things that cures poison, or perform laundry to increase speed. Who knows? Just offer me even more Dad powers.

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Chris L: There have to perhaps be a single-use item Dad can usage to slow-moving the baby dvery own so he has actually more time to tidy up. Like a taser. I assume civilization usage tasers to calm their babies down? I"m not an experienced, here. No, like, probably a pacifier you can jam in the baby"s mouth which provides him relocate even more gradually for a little, or renders him unable to chug Windex for a minute.